Move over Betty Crocker, there’s a new Sara Lee in town.

Today, ArcStonian Pamela Schott brought in a batch of what she calls Oh! Henry bars. They should be called Be-Still-My-Beating-Heart bars because I’m in love.

I want to be locked in a prison made out of Pam’s Oh! Henry bars so I can eat my way to freedom.

I want to collect them like baseball cards, only to eat my whole collection and start all over again.

I want a device hooked up to my desk that rewards me with a bar every time I click my mouse.

I want Steve Nash to practice his free throws with them, shooting at my mouth.

I want to travel back in time so I have more time to eat them.

I don’t want to write anymore because it means I’m not eating.

Everything evolves, even Thanksgiving. This year a host of high-tech achievements are enhancing the experience of gorging on food and avoiding weird relatives.

Turducken - a chicken stuffed in a duck stuffed in a turkey. Truly the pinnacle of bird-based meat dishes.

Turkey Deep Fryer - make your own deep fried turkey with this all-in-one system. Be careful though, heating a huge vat of flammable liquid to high temperatures can be dangerous.

Smoked Beer Can Turkey - this stroke of genius combines turkey, beer, and several scientific principles to infuse your meal with beer flavor.