(This post started here and will end ridiculously)

To quickly recap, I recently found myself pondering the deeper facets of life and the universe. The budding Friedrich Nietzsche inside of me was twisting and turning, unable to rest. The ultimate question in question? If I could buy anything, and I mean anything, what expensive things would I buy? The list continues…

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4. A $20,000 .mp3 player

The TrexStor i.Beat Organix .mp3 player is the geek’s ultimate bling. Adorned in 18-karat gold and 63 one-karat diamonds. Its wrist strap is made from aquamarine jewels and admittedly I don’t know what those are, but I want them. I can just imagine running into an iPod user on the street. Our conversation would go something like this:

iPod guy: Awesome, my iPod just shuffled to REO Speedwagon’s “Keep On Loving You!”

Me: My iPod is covered in diamonds.

iPod guy: …(cries)

I used to be an Apple fanboy but Apple just doesn’t seem to have class anymore. I don’t even think they have a product with gold or diamonds. Then again, Steve Jobs isn’t necessarily known to be an innovative thinker so I won’t be too hard on him.

All the same, Apple will be lucky to have even 5% of the .mp3 market in 5 years with jewel-encrusted devices like the i.Beat Organix on the rise.

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5. The New York Yankees

The Yankees are America’s team and I love America so much that I would buy them in blink of a George W. Bush eyelid if I had the chance. I also love baseball and Coney dogs. Completely justified purchase, no doubt.

First order of business with George Steinbrenner out the door and the kid-phenom at the helm (that’s me, by the way), would be to replace those outdated pinstriped jerseys with American flag-inspired gear. A prototype of the new pants already exists.

Second order of business… sign Air Bud* to a lucrative contract. Air Bud brings marketing power and raw talent to the team.

Third order of buisness… trade A-Rod and Andy Petite to the Minnesota Twins for Nick Punto.

Then… sit back, eat 6 Coney dogs, and enjoy the game.

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That’s all the time I have for today! I’ll leave you with another one of my favorite quotes, this time from Nietzsche himself: “Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves?” Definitely, especially if you are super rich and can buy happiness. Tune in next time, world.

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*Buddy the Wonder Dog, a.k.a. Air Bud, died 10 years ago this February but was father to dozens of healthy pups who have become famous actors themselves. With the world hanging on every one of my words right now, I’d would like to take this opportunity to pay my respects to Buddy; An inspiration to an entire generation, he is loved and missed everyday.

Welcome to stimulus season. If you’re stumped for ideas, check out what your fellow Americans did with it on How I Spent My Stimulus. You can even add your own stimulus story…

See excerpt below. (Thanks for the tip, Pam.)

Here at ArcStone, we only dream of the kind of corporate office angst that spawns entertainment like this:

• ^ ^ ^ Crazy and hilarious video compilation of corporate peons going postal to the tune of Daniel Powter’s “Bad Day.”
• Five Minutes to Kill Yourself. A flash game where you have only five minutes to kill yourself before a mandatory meeting.
• The USB Rocket Launcher. Nick has one of these and can testify to its usefulness in dispelling office tension. Now that he’s found the USB extension cable, he’s twice the threat.
• Scott Adam’s Blog. Who better to get you through the day than the evil genius behind Dilbert? (I should mention that ArcStone has not one cubicle and nary a Dilbert comic pinned up on the wall.)
• Corporate Gibberish Generator. In case you’re stumped for copy on your website. (Joking. You were tempted, weren’t you?)
• Online Anger Management Classes. Maybe it’s safer this way — no risk of beating up your classmates.

Edit: I forgot one. Get Yourself Fired. For those who *really* hate their jobs.

One of my favorite days of the year. Endless possibilities for marketers, and so much fun.

Highlights in the ‘net-o-sphere today:

• If you’ve got a Google Docs account, sign in and open a new document. Under the file menu you should see an option for New Airplane. As Nick says, “Be careful. It’s in beta, so it may crash.”


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Tags:entertainment Fun Funny

Every once in a while I come upon a site so unique, so interesting, that I simply must share it. Indexed is one of those sites. Jessica Hagy has taken blogging to a another dimension with her faux-math graphing posts.

While others (me included) struggle to convey complex thoughts and opinions with hundreds of words, she cuts strait to the point using only a few lines. Jessica’s hand drawn creations may not stand up to scientific scrutiny, or be testable on your TI-80, but they are genius in their own special way.

She also has a book coming out that will no doubt become an instant coffee table classic among nerds everywhere. It’s sites like Indexed that renew my faith in the Internet’s ability to offer up quality content for an unbeatable value.

Don’t miss this site, it will change your perception of blogging, graphs, and math forever.

Our family got a Nintendo Wii for Christmas and it has transformed our living room. Aside from a few broken glasses (we’ve only had one semi-serious injury with my seven year old flipping over an end table - don’t worry, he’s OK) we have had a blast gathering around the TV. All four of us standing, talking, and playing a variety of games. Even my wife likes it - after being dead set against any video gaming in our house, she is regularily initiating Wii activity (yeah!).

If you have never played the Wii - it is an amazing piece of tech. Tactile and responsive, it is a blast.

Our latest Wii adventure is Guitar Hero III - Legends of Rock. Now you have to understand that I have played guitar for 25 years. When I mentioned to a co-worker that I was planning on getting Guitar Hero he said, “Yeah it’s really fun, it’s addictive, but you already play guitar.”

With Guitar Hero they’re doing a ton of clever things - too many to run through here. The basic experience though is right on. Guitar hero lets you rock.

You can lose yourself in the song - totally immersed, concentrating, losing track of time and space you hear the music, sense the crowd. It is very close to truly rocking out - achieving a musical flow experience that normally takes years of practice to get a glimpse of. Music is about becoming one with your instrument, joining your voice with others - being able to suspend time and thought.

Guitar Hero spoon-feeds that “flow” experience - enabling you to rock immediately - insant rockification. I predict (hope) the current Guitar Hero frenzy will isnpire a new legion of dedicated real world rockers. Where will they go to get their gear? Guitar Center of course, that’s where you go in the game to buy fancy axes you pay for with your hard earned gig bucks (you can even click on the Guitar Center logo - clever, evil marketing folks).

Fortunately for me there does appear to be some overlap between real world guitar chops and Guitar Hero. This advantage inspires me to throw down - any ArcStonian who can outshred me gets a guppy named in their honor….

This year for Thanksgiving, I brought home a Wii, including the never-opened, much buzzed-about Guitar Hero III.

My family, particularly my mom (who is decidedly not a gamer), took to it immediately. Mom’s unexpected enthusiasm and enjoyment of the Wii prompted my Dad to make seven trips to Target in a quest to bring back the holy grail of gaming consoles for the holidays. Lo and behold, Christmas morning, Santa had placed a Wii under the trii, and fun was had by all.

Why — when no other gaming system has come close to tempting her — does my mom like rockin’ out on the fake guitar till her fingers are sore and smashing my dad to pieces with her speed-of-light serves in Wii Sports tennis?

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If you’re not already familiar with the infamous scene involving one bro, one John Kerry, and a gang of taser-wielding campus police, check out the video — and listen closely for the quote of the year. (Note: if you’re squeamish, skip it.)

I’m not sure how the Quote Patrol decides which quote is “most memorable,” but no doubt it has something to do with being one of the top quote queries on Google and one of the most popular videos on the web. And now it’s official: “Don’t tase me, bro!” has become the most memorable quote of the year according to the editor of the Yale Book of Quotations.

What makes the video and quote so popular? It’s that special somethin’ — the word “bro.”

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Vimeo, a video sharing site akin to YouTube but for a more discriminating user, has now launched HD video streams in gloriously sharp 720p. For those of you stuck in the analog, rabbit-ears age, that is 1,280 by 720 pixels of resolution.

I sampled some of their fare, and was quite impressed with the quality and speed of the video. The content however, like most video sites, still leaves something to be desired.

Other sites will probably follow suit and start offering higher video quality. It won’t be long before we have a regular resolution arms race on our hands. Alas gentle readers, this leaves me wondering: do we really need to see aunt Deloris’s 80th birthday party, or a montage of groin smashing shenanigans in high resolution?

It also appears that the move to higher quality video is in part inspired by a lucrative advertising contract with Canon. Throughout the site you can see ads promoting the obvious superiority of HD video, and Canon’s logo is even watermarked over select videos.

I have selected from the cream of the crop a video for your sampling (you still need to visit Vimeo for the HD version):

The FX Movie (A Tribute To Visual Effects) - HD version from Spinning Blade on Vimeo.

A week ago I was strolling through my local shopping complex with the kids in tow. The weather was rotten, and I was desperately searching for something to keep them occupied for a few minutes so I could rest my weary bones.

To my surprise it wasn’t a toy store, candy machine, or fountain that provided my rug rats with the sensory distraction they so desperately needed. It was an advertisement. More specifically, an interactive advertisement platform from a company called Reatrix.

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